A few weeks ago, I went for a lovely forest walk with a friend that I had not seen in a while. It was wonderful to jump right into an open, honest, vulnerable, inquisitive, transparent conversation! Deep, authentic connections are one of my very favourite things! She is also Highly Sensitive and growth and awareness oriented.
Near the end of our walk, she said something that stuck with me, ‘growing up, I felt like an emotional orphan. I could not talk to/connect with my family about emotions and what was going on inside. I instantaneously could relate and knew exactly what she meant.
Feeling like an ‘Emotional Orphan’
Growing up, I could (and did) rely on my friends for emotional support and deep connection. I could not be alone. I needed them to regulate myself. When I was in my early 20’s, something started to happen. I felt an energetic drift away from most friends and connections, my parents divorced, and my little family of 4 was all going in entirely different directions, including emotionally! It was very lonely and challenging for me as I love deep connections! This is a time in my life when I truly really felt like an ’emotional orphan,’ and it did NOT feel good!
Also, my high sensitivity and empath nature and traits were being pushed (pulled?) out of deep hiding and into the forefront; not something that I wanted or welcomed at that time! I felt ‘happy’ the way they were! Loneliness and being alone was my biggest fear. This intensely solitary introspection and restructuring lasted for over two decades! I wondered if this was always how it would be, and fortunately, it was not!
Authentic Connection and Belonging as an HSP Empath
In 2019, I began my official EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) training and developed some deep connections with some beautiful people- which remain today. Regular EFT swaps enable us to take turns facilitating each other, looking at the places in our internal worlds that (we feel) need healing and attention; hurts, pain, difficulties, traumas, limiting beliefs, blocks etc. We do this with total safety, openness, honesty, curiosity and zero judgement. It has been entirely internally transformational! My emotional needs and traumas were now safely being tended to and cared for with people I completely trusted!
Also, around the same time, I did an online class with Dr. Michael R. Smith called the Empath Academy, where for the first time, I felt truly at ease in a group and could ultimately be myself! It felt incredible– like I had found ‘my people, my place, where I belonged’…..’ my soul family,’ as Michael called it.
I cried a lot during the class- deep core-level relief tears. Deep authentic connections, people like me – just what my soul had been longing for, for so long! In an instant, decades of loneliness and isolation suddenly vanished!
The Importance of Building a Solid Relationship with Ourselves
Looking back, I can now see and understand very clearly that this was a time where I was supposed to/meant to go deeply within and really connect with myself and get to know and learn to love myself as well as acknowledge and take care of, heal, build, and create my inner life; instead of relying on everyone on the outside to meet my needs and escape from myself!
Today, I love deep connections more than ever and I also deeply enjoy and need to be alone quite a lot. My younger self would never have believed that liking and needing to be alone was part of our nature too! I have found more of a balance between these two extremes.
The Balance Between Internal and External Connections
Being an Empath and Highly Sensitive is not always easy. But I have come to see and understand the many beautiful gifts and traits associated with it. I can now see life’s infinite wisdom and how it guides and supports us in precisely the people and situations we need to be more of ourselves and bring us closer to ourselves and healing/balancing!
The Beauty of Deep Authentic Connections
Thankfully, I no longer feel like an ’emotional orphan’! I now find belonging and authentic, beautiful connection with sensitive, empathic, kind, caring, compassionate, heart-centred, service and growth-oriented souls! I am profoundly grateful for this exquisite gift of soul resonance! It makes the human experience so much more dynamic and joyous!
I am curious, where and how do you find and feel deep, authentic connections?
If I can assist you in this way, please reach out and book a free 15-minute chat!