Overcoming my (life-long) Public Speaking Phobia with EFT

Tamara Low

Energetic Freedom Coach, Author

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I did something that I thought I would NEVER ever ever ever ever (be able to do)!

That is, be a guest on a podcast….

I have had a deeply engrained public speaking terror/phobia since I went completely blank, forgetting my lines in the school play in grade 6. After that, doing a presentation in school and being seen became excruciating for me. As a result, I would fiercely and diligently try and avoid speaking publicly and being the centre of attention at all cost! Avoiding, retreating, and staying small and hidden had been my go-to solution for decades! But teachers and professors would NOT ‘let that happen’ (grrrrr), which brought up MANY things in me. So, this traumatic experience -turned phobia got more and more deeply entrenched as the years went by! It made my life narrower and smaller- and consumed a lot of energy being on high alert and trying to avoid ‘danger.’ Part of me resigned to ‘this is how it would always be! 

My recent writing contribution to a chapter in I AM: Releasing the Shame of Narcissistic Abuse…..” has brought up quite a few opportunities to be more visible, to be seen and heard. The other 13 authors and I have done a few Zoom events/interviews, which was definitely out of my comfort zone, but feeling the security of the group made it much easier! Also, the opportunity to do podcasts on my own began to spring up. YIKES! That felt TERRIFYING! I so DEEPLY wanted to be able to do this, but it seemed pretty impossible- for someone else, not me.

An opportunity presented itself to work with someone with Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), looking to do a case study to complete his certification on just this, the fear of public speaking! Thank you, universe, for orchestrating this one! I did 5 EFT sessions with Brian (his contact info is below), and the results were PHENOMENAL! I also did some EFT in-between sessions when things came up. This was something that I NEEDED the assistance of someone qualified, patient, and empathic to help guide and lead me through this minefield.

I had so many fears and hesitations. In the first session with Brian, we worked on my feeling around being forced by so many teachers/professors to speak in public/in front of the class, do presentations, be put on the spot to answer questions. I had deep and unhealed trauma- so this approach by my teachers/professors was NOT helpful! It felt like I was being overpowered, controlled, and violated – I was forced to do something very unsafe for me. It was too much! What I needed was someone to help me to overcome this phobia, not push it deeper! I felt angry, resentful, and deeply resistant. I could not say no; ‘I am not comfortable with this’! I was not heard, respected; my boundaries were constantly trampled on. I felt powerless.

At the end of the session, I saw an image of myself on a cliff, and I had a choice to stay small, fearful, and hidden or to be seen and step out of the shadows. I knew that I wanted to step into the newness, the new me…that was a good sign!

The morning of the second session, I woke up in a complete (inner-child) panic. I felt like she was around age 6. She was trying to shut down the idea of even thinking about doing this upcoming podcast! I/she felt consumed with fear and the feeling that I /we did NOT want to be pushed out of my comfort place!! It was a 9/10 intensity. At the end of the last session, we put the remaining left-over aspects in an imaginary box to work on during the next session. So, this is where we started with the third session.

The left-over contents in the ‘box’ felt very difficult for me to look at! What came to the surface was a time 15 + years ago, I worked up the courage to do a radio interview regarding Tail Blazers: Health Food Store for Pets (my past business) with my friend Corinne, a veterinarian. I was not at all prepared for the terror that it brought up in me! I was shaking so badly. I left my body and went completely blank during the interview for a period of time (I don’t remember how long). The announcer noticed and tried to help me/take the focus off me. Finally, some of our lovely customers called in, and it brought me back. I felt foolish, embarrassed, shameful, and humiliated about going blank, feeling like letting someone down and how paralyzed/frozen with fear I was. I wanted to disappear- precisely how I felt when I forgot my lines in the school play (grade 6), which also came up in this session, and I remembered declaring to myself that I will NEVER do this to myself again! Wow!

This earlier trauma was still locked in my nervous system/energy system, and it was doing its job of alerting me to the ‘danger’ of the podcast! 

At the beginning of session three, I felt terrified to put myself out there, feeling like an imposter- that I don’t have anything valuable to share, say contribute. No one wants to hear what I have to say. Podcasts are for experts in things and have lots of degrees- hmmm, I now know and believe this is not true!

I usually see clear visual images during EFT sessions; filled with hidden symbolism, answers, clues and meanings. In this way, we can work on difficult things, but it’s more indirect as the ‘energetic makeup’ is encompassed in this form instead of directly looking or focusing on the thing or event. So even if we don’t know what it is all about, we are ‘working on it.’

In this session, I saw a black magic carpet really close to my chest, and it felt like it was pushing on me. So, we did some rounds on that, and then it felt like it moved (and changed) into a giant black jellybean-type image in my right neck (an area that I have had a lot of pain/problems with). Two things came up, a memory from about three years ago where I felt called out in public for not doing something ‘right’ (in their opinion). We also tapped on a scene that I saw when I was young and my feelings around it. This is what came to me:

When I was young, someone needed me to need them, so they created constant disapproval to control me and meet their needs. So, therefore, I learned to look to them and others for constant reassurance and approval to tell me if I’m doing things ‘right’ because I have believed that other people always know more than I do. That was a massive realization that a part of me was still locked into- a lot of energy moved/cleared with that understanding.

I could now see it all differently and have compassion for that young part of me who could not safely and freely learn and figure things out independently. After the session, I no longer felt that podcasts are just for ‘experts.’ There are, of course, all kinds of different types of podcasts out there!  In EFT, at the end of a session, we go back and check ‘our work.’ The long list of things that felt true at the beginning did not feel true anymore! Amazing!

So then came the day of the Healing Playground podcast! I was going to be with Tammy and Holly (also authors of “I AM….”). I liked that it was more of a conversation style than just being given questions. I did not worry about it every second after I booked it as I had done with things I was nervous about in the past! Big progress! I felt a two or three out of ten nervousness the evening before, so I did some EFT. The morning before, it was about a two or three out of ten as well. Definitely manageable!

I was greeted by two supportive, kind friends who have been on a similar journey to me. We had an incredible conversation! I was able to feel relaxed, present and myself, and I enjoyed EVERY moment of the time spent with them talking about healing/healing modalities, playfulness, being ourselves, self-care, love- some of my favourite topics!

The toxic and harmful residue of these past events, trauma, and beliefs were no longer holding my nervous system hostage anymore!! I was and am free to write a new story!! It feels amazing to have been able to do something that I would have actively worked against and avoided before!! I am so grateful to Tammy, who came up with the collaborative book idea, Holly and Brian!! I am now wondering what is possible in the future, and I am excited about the possibilities!!

I am so grateful for this experience and the assistance of a very skilled EFT Practitioner (*Brian Rohr) to help me do some deep-level healing and the personal courage to excavate and go beyond years of paralyzing fear, trauma and limiting beliefs.

What would you do if you were not paralyzed with fear and terror? How would you feel if you could overcome or accomplish this/something that might seem almost impossible to do in your life? What would it mean to you? What if someone could gently assist, guide, and support you with EFT (and patience, skill, safety, and empathy) to get to the root of the energetic obstacles and things working against our dreams, goals, hearts desires, truest and deepest expression, peace, and wholeness? This is what I am SO deeply passionate about; supporting and assisting people to achieve and manifest their hearts’ desires!!  

BIG change is possible and maybe even fun!!?

Warmly, 

Tamara

*Brian is a professional storyteller who also offers coaching in public speaking and the art of storytelling. You can link to his storytelling website: www.brianrohr.com or his Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/brianrohrstoryteller.

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Soulful Purpose in Business

Wouldn’t it be incredible if we were all encouraged to find our soulful purpose from a young age?

Imagine how your life and work would be different as a free-spirited HSP/Empath. It’s never too late to reclaim those buried or dormant parts. You CAN live and work with more meaning, authenticity, and enjoyment. It’s a matter of clearing the blocks that are getting in your way. Using EFT, I can help you with that.

The challenge for free-spirited, creative HSP/Empaths:

I have always felt the profound significance of living authentically with soul purpose. To live free of conditioned paradigms (that do not work for us). And to experience creativity, joy, and wonder.

Still, like most of us, I was trained to follow, ‘fit in,’ and got swept up in conditioned paradigms and expectations. 

When we are young, we learn by observing and adapting to our worldly surroundings. We are often told or shown by our parent(s), caregivers, and society at large who THEY THINK we are and should be. It’s about WHO they want us to be, WHAT they want us to do, say, or behave like, and what they think we should DO. This can create an immense amount of confusion.

Unconsciously, we can become controlled and led by beliefs that were learned and taught. Often, they do not even have origins in who we are and how we desire to live. It is so incredibly easy to become lost and deviated.

The trouble is, we are beautiful spirits designed to create, express, learn, grow, share, and explore. To live a life that is from us. Meant for us. And to BE FREE of conditioning. Free from the layers of pain, hurt, trauma, shoulds, and have to’s that direct us away from our true nature, uniqueness, and soulful purpose.

It’s painful to be a free-spirited, creative HSP/Empath trying to navigate and fit in where we do not belong. This can result in depression, anxiety, deep discontentment, and frustration, etc. 

The good news is that there are things we can do to retrieve and reclaim those buried or dormant parts of us. The parts and expectations that are not a fit for us. And to heal the parts of us that do not believe it’s possible to be ourselves. So we can do what we love OR take the risk to do something else that is more in line with us!

How do we make the needed changes to align with our purpose/soulful path?

I have had many unfulfilling jobs in my life and a two-decade business that was not soulfully fulfilling for me. I felt deeply bored, stuck, and trapped. My discontentment kept getting louder, and my spirit would no longer let me look away. Making a leap into the unknown felt terrifying. I did not know what my financial future was going to hold. But I knew that I HAD to do whatever it took to find where my soul was longing to be.

I did A LOT of EFT sessions on all the fear, paralysis, terror, guilt, etc. lying under making the change. It took a deep desire, diligence, openness (and a bit of courage) to remove the fears and conditioning so I could realign with my path. But it is so worth it!

And in the end, it ALL turned out even better than I could have imagined!

You know the expression ‘the universe has your back’? Well, once I cleared all the energetic blocks and fears, things started falling into place. I felt utterly ‘taken care of’ in the broader sense. And I believe everyone can access it if that is in their heart and soul’s desires!

The power of alignment:

I was listening to an interview with EFT Master Carol Look, and she sums this up extremely well by saying, “…appreciation is the energy of alignment. Manifestations follow emotions, and when you are in the emotion of appreciation, that is when things start to shift on that vibrational (or energy) level.”

When we are in the alignment or frequency of flow, life can bring us all kinds of miraculous things with ease. Ideas, solutions, inspirations, seeing things differently, opportunities.

Look goes on to say that, “when we are in alignment, we are open to all possibilities and can appreciate them when they arise.” 

Yes!! I have seen this over and over in my own life! So, to get into alignment, we need to remove the incongruencies (aka negative limiting beliefs, fears, etc.). Then life energy is free to flow in us, and we can create joy and beauty through our alignment! 

How EFT Helps us to Get Into Alignment With Our Uniqueness and Soulful Purpose:  

Shoulds, have to’s, guilt, shame, fear, mistrust, etc., are NOT in the energy of alignment. What is? Authenticity, passion, purpose, curiosity, meaning, trust, faith, expressing our uniqueness and true selves.

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) helps us learn about, observe, hear, and accept how we FEEL. With honesty and compassion, we can honour what’s happening (unconsciously) in our inner worlds! It helps us to gain clarity, insight, and inner knowing. When we are open, we can better understand ourselves and the parts and places that need care and healing.

It has helped me gain insight and understanding in a profound way. I have developed compassion for myself. Freed myself from layers upon layers of conditioned thoughts and beliefs. Released deep emotional pains and burdens. BE me. Live and create a life in line with me.

EFT also helps us to regulate our nervous system so that we experience more balanced calm. Then, with openness and curiosity, we can hear our inner knowing, wisdom, and what our spirits reveal to us!

We Are Not Meant to Fit Into or Conform to Societal Norms and Structures!

We are here to find, reveal, and cultivate the path that is unique to only us!

I am in awe of how beautifully unique everyone is. Unique gifts, talents, abilities, goals, passions, desires, energetic vibration, and soulful purpose(s). Each of us is an essential piece of the bigger puzzle of existence here on Earth.

From my perspective, free Spirited HSPs and Empaths are here to assist in breaking free of old, toxic, harmful, and worn-out institutions and paradigms. We can see/feel/know things that are not aligned with truth and love. So we have essential elements to offer and contribute to healing in the world/planet.

The world needs the energy, skills, compassion, love, care, heart, creativity, kindness, peace, wisdom, etc. of HSP/Empaths…

Getting Support to re-emerge with Soulful Purpose in your Business (as an HSP/Empath):

I am here to support you in celebrating your uniqueness. To help you re-emerge as who you were (before being caught up in cultural and societal conditioned and false beliefs about yourself). If you don’t feel like you fit or belong – you are not meant to!

Book a 15 min discovery link call and we can begin to honour and discover your unique soul’s path!! What you dream of, lights you up, gives you goosebumps, and fills you with joy, freedom, and aliveness!! 

What if you could authentically do what you love AND experience the universe’s support via financial security?

Would you be doing something different in your business right now? Elsewhere?

Let’s explore and see!

Tamara

 

Welcome to Sensitive Soul Path

I am passionate about Highly Sensitive People (HSP) and Empaths living beautifully authentic and inspired lives!

 

 I delight in assisting people to gently uncover the parts and places (in us) that are longing and need to be heard. Our feelings and body sensations hold MUCH wisdom! Often, we try to push away feelings we have labelled as uncomfortable, scary, wrong, or shameful. In locking them in, we cannot hear and understand their deeper meaning, what they are really trying to communicate to us. It also affects our energy and interest levels, and health. 

 

When we gently give voice to locked-in emotions and sensations, we can discover the gifts and wisdom they offer and become energetically free to BE ourselves completely! 

 

  1. Where is your inner voice and soul’s purpose guiding and directing you (to which people, situations, service, passions, gifts, etc.)?

          2. What is wanting to be heard, said, released or done?

 I love to work with HSPs and Empaths that love to do safe, deep inner exploring work to release the layers that do not serve them and their purpose, such as

 

  • clearing and unravelling the energetic blocks along their soul path. These could be unconscious beliefs we took in as a child. 
  • to break free from harmful conditioning in all its forms that do not fit our soul’s purpose and embrace all of themselves and a life fulfilling and authentic to them! 
  • energetically removing yourself from being bogged down by other people’s negative energy or expectations, e.g. do you stay in a situation because of guilt and shame? 
  • clearing the energetic residue of what is keeping you stuck and paralyzed in places and situations that do not resonate in harmony with your souls. 
  • external drains and pressures that do not come from our true desires 
  • clearing the blocks and barriers to accepting and caring for ourselves at the deepest levels.
  • balance our sensitive nervous systems

 If you answered ‘Yes!’ to any of the following questions, Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT or ‘Tapping’) and/or Pranic Healing could assist you. Please ask me how! 

 

Do you?

  • want and need to make a significant change, but fear, guilt or shame is leaving you paralyzed, preventing you from taking that leap?
  • feel bogged down by other people’s expectations, societal pressures, and early conditioning? 
  • are you aware of how many expectations you have of yourself that don’t actually belong to you?
  •  feel like you do not fit into society and the existing paradigms and institutions?
  • is the pace of society too busy and rushed for you and your nervous system?
  • struggle with SHOULDS? And as a result, feel like you are not living a life in alignment with your TRUE self?

 Does any of this leave you feeling frustrated, bored, disillusioned, anxious, angry, depressed, unfulfilled, stuck, etc.? 

 

While avoiding external pressures can feel challenging on many levels, ultimately, this is what I believe:

 

 We (HSP Empaths) are not meant to try and “fit in”; we are meant to SEE and FEEL and BE in the world from OUR unique perspective and soul’s purpose!! 

Emotional Freedom Techniques are especially helpful in supporting HSP Empath healing and empowerment:

Emotional Freedom Techniques (also called EFT, or “Tapping”) is a masterful way to gain clarity and insight. EFT helps remove the energetic and emotional blocks, fears, beliefs, and emotions (such as shame) from the body.

Struggle and/or emotional pain is a block or disruption in our body’s energy system. Our body gives us clues through feelings and sensations about what is happening within us (e.g. a sore stomach, tight chest). Similarly, it tells us how we feel around others and in certain environments. 

In other words, our body tells us when something is not in alignment. With that awareness, we have the power to shift it.

Benefit of an EFT practitioner and Energetic Freedom Coach for HSP/ Empaths:

My goal is to provide a SAFE, compassionate, secure, and non-judgemental space for you to peel back the layers to release what no longer serves you (aka all those SHOULDs).

SHOULDs, HAVE TOs, and other people’s expectations don’t have to hold you back from your passions and stop you from embracing your brilliant, sensitive, and empathic nature.

You CAN live a life in a way that feels TRUE to you….

If you are curious about how EFT can help you care for your HSP Empath nature, I’d love to have a no-pressure chat.

Reach out and schedule your free 15-minute call today or email tamara@sensitivesoulpath.com

Warmly, Tamara