Human beings need to constantly make decisions, ranging from monumentally life-changing and relatively insignificant to many colours and shades in between. We firmly know some of the reasons, and some are unconscious, hidden from our awareness. I feel that it is essential for HSP/Empaths to make decisions that are in line with their beautiful, sensitive nature. I will call it ‘sensitive soul decision making,’ which is very often overlooked for numerous reasons.
As HSP/Empaths, our decisions profoundly impact our sensitive souls, nervous systems, and energy systems. I very recently became aware of aspects that can creep into my decision-making process that have not been in line with my deep sensitivity and the way I desire to feel in my body, nervous system, and energy system. In fact, my nervous system is often teetering on overwhelm, exhaustion and overstimulation. Can you relate? I recently wrote:
“The inner state that I value the MOST (in and around me), essential for me to feel whole and completely aligned with myself are balance, calm, ease, peace, joy, harmony, and love.”
But this had not been my experience the majority of my life! Hmmm. I became acutely aware that something BIG needs to change and be rebalanced in me to bring this deep desire into fruition!
Sensitive Soul Decision Making Blind Spots
Upon reflection, the first area that I notice in myself that can trip me up is that a part of me can be very impatient and impulsive. My sometimes ‘impatient and impulsive’ inner child can sometimes push her way into the driver’s seat! Here is a recent example:
I love dogs and have since a very young age, and I love to combine my love of dogs with my love of being in and around nature/the outdoors (including off-leash parks).
Nicky the “Grippet”
I first noticed being out of harmony here nine years ago. We rescued a one-year-old whippet/greyhound from Ireland (Nicky). Sadly, he had a traumatic early start to life and was never properly socialized. He had a lovely nature and loved people, but with some dogs (due to his past), he developed an ‘I am going to get you before you get me mentality.’ He was not good at off-leash parks and was reactive with dogs on leash. I felt him always being on guard/on edge, which took away from my essential (to me) ease-filled walks. I/we worked with a trainer, but he/we never quite got ‘there.’
Of course, it was not his fault. We provided him with a safe, loving, home-centred life he wanted and needed. Nicky passed away (of a heart condition last fall), so we started looking for another rescue dog. I inquired to many rescue organizations about many dogs. They were getting scooped up very fast! Yes, enter some impatience. I had been following a rescue organization out of Saskatchewan that was set to come to BC in a few days.
Willow the “Lusky”
I inquired about a dog named Willow. Shes a one year old Lab/Husky mix. I had a chat with Willow’s foster mom, and all sounded great. I felt no red flags. She even called her ‘the perfect dog.’ I asked her how she was on a leash, and she said she did not know. She actually did not know what she was like outside her house. As someone that has done fostering before, I thought that was weird, but she sounded so lovely. How bad could her leash walking/outside the house be!? Well, I was about to find out…
I met the rescue van in the Safeway parking lot at 9:30 pm on the night of my very excited son’s 13 birthday. He was at his dad’s till the following morning. They handed me the leash with Willow on the other end, and in less than 10 seconds, she pulled her head out of the collar. Oh boy!! The people around, excited to meet their new rescue dogs, tried to help by reaching out to grab her, which scared her, and she bolted across a busy street in an alleyway behind a school. Yikes!
What ensued was an excruciating next 2.5 hours trying to find her in the dark night of winter! I said out loud to God/the Universe, ‘I am asking you for a miracle here!”….a couple of minutes later, two angels who reached out to me after seeing my Facebook post about her called and said they found her! She was so scared/fearful – what a relief!
The next day I learned that she has an extreme prey drive, the pulling power and intensity of a sled dog and possibly some leash aggression. Oh-oh!! I felt frozen and in shock.
This Was Not a Sensitive Soul Decision!!
My spirit needs and wants a dog that is soothing and gentle to my already amped-up nervous system. But as I said before, impatience and impulsivity have been unconsciously operating the show and taking my nervous system on a wild ride into the weeds and swamp. I started paying attention to the beliefs behind it. 1) I might miss out if I don’t act quickly, and 2) I need to force things to happen, or they won’t happen. I was not trusting that what was and is meant for me will find me. I have since been looking at these beliefs with EFT!
As a sensitive being bringing a new animal into the home is always an adjustment. But I did not gather all of the information (nor meet her in person) that I needed to make a decision based on inner peace, ease and alignment! (*It is important to note that she is NOT at all a bad dog, she is young, energetic, and never learned boundaries, or it seems lived in a home or walked on leash before).
Aligning Our Outside Decisions with Our Sensitive Insides
I grew up in the 70’s and 80’s, and caring for ourselves and checking in and honouring how we feel and what is best for us and our sensitive nature /nervous systems was just not a thing! Adapting to and fitting in with the norm was what was expected. I never learned or was shown how to make decisions based on whether this felt good or aligned with me. I felt judged by others for ‘my sensitive shortcomings.’
Therefore, I always have felt like my sensitivity/being an empath is a weakness, a flaw, a disability of sorts. I have felt that it makes me high maintenance and I have severely judged and shamed myself as a result. I have firmly held the belief that I just need to push through it all. This has resulted in many struggles that were done in shameful silence (most of my life). I wonder if you can relate? EFT profoundly helped me accept and learn to love this part of me and I feel confident that it can help you too!
I realized I have never made decisions in my life from the place of is it harmonious with my very sensitive nervous system. Instead, I was trying to be in the world from ‘everyone elses’ nervous system.
I am DONE with pushing and forcing things! Ironically, I was listing to Martha Beck being interviewed on the ‘I Can do Hard Things’ podcast yesterday…. She said, ‘Straining is NOT a way to make things work! When you stop doing things by pushing, you will relax into nature. The power of nature itself has intentions, and it has a design for you and will pick you up like a river. Then life starts happening through you. Bring everything you have to it, then let go. Yes!
Sweet Strong-Willed Willow and Lessons Learned
We have had sweet one-year-old strong-willed Willow for two months now. She is relaxing into her true nature (and so am I – ha), and she is a fantastic playmate for my son. The rest we are taking steps towards my goal of a compatable outdoor adventure companion. She is not leash aggressive, just very excited to meet other dogs. It has been challenging and stressful for us and Willow (thank you Pranic Healing) in many ways, but, she has helped me cement my the essential need for conscious, ‘sensitive soul decision making’ from and for my true and deeply sensitive nature and that I am worthy of feeling peaceful inside and outside! Yippee!
Impatience and impulsivity might surely arise, but now I can see them differently. There is no need to rush and panic in decision-making! It’s so important to take our time and really check in with ourselves with how the decision will impact us on all levels.
I am curious, what qualities does your sensitive soul require of you regarding sensitive soul decision-making?
EFT (aka ‘Tapping’) can assist us with self-discovery and awareness, and all levels of decision making. It can also help us to come to terms with the consequences of decisions that we wish that we had never made.
I invite you to book a free 15 min call to discuss how EFT and Pranic Healing can assist you and your beautiful sensitivity in creating what you want in your life and make peace with what you don’t (or no longer) want.